Know the scams
Hear the story once, and it loses its power
These are the schemes most often run against older adults, in the order families most often encounter them. Read them together, out loud if you can. Each one ends with the tell — the detail that gives it away.
Aimed at older adults
1. The family emergency ("grandparent scam")
A caller — sometimes crying, sometimes a "lawyer" or "officer" — says a grandchild has been in a crash or arrested and needs bail or hospital money immediately. "Please don't tell Mom and Dad, they'll be so upset." Cheap voice-cloning software can now imitate a real grandchild's voice from a few seconds of social-media video, so sounding right proves nothing.
The tell: a family member who begs for secrecy and money in the same call. Real emergencies survive a call-back. Use the family code word.
2. The government imposter (IRS, Social Security, Medicare)
"This is the IRS. You owe back taxes and a warrant will be issued today unless you pay." Or: "Your Social Security number has been suspended due to criminal activity." The caller ID may even display a real agency name — caller ID is trivially faked.
The tell: government agencies initiate serious matters by postal mail, never demand payment by phone, and never take gift cards, wire transfers, or crypto.
3. The bank "fraud department"
"We've detected fraud on your account. To protect your money, move it to a safe account right now" — or "read me the code we just texted you." The moved money goes to the scammer; the texted code lets them into the real account. This one is devastating because the caller sounds exactly like the fraud departments banks really have.
The tell: a real bank will never ask you to move money to "protect" it, and never asks for a texted security code. Hang up and call the number on the back of the card.
4. Tech support and the pop-up virus
A computer screen freezes with a loud warning: "Your PC is infected — call Microsoft/Apple support now." The "technician" asks for remote access to the computer, then finds imaginary problems, charges hundreds, or — worse — opens the online banking screen while connected.
The tell: Microsoft and Apple never put phone numbers in pop-ups and never call about a virus. Never grant remote access to an unsolicited caller. Restarting the computer usually clears the pop-up.
5. The gift card demand
Whatever the story, the ending is the same: "Go to the store, buy gift cards, and read me the numbers off the back." Sometimes the caller stays on the phone during the drive and coaches the victim on what to say if a cashier asks questions — that coaching is itself proof of the crime.
The tell: per the FTC, anyone who demands payment by gift card is a scammer, without exception. FTC: gift card scams.
6. Wire transfers, Zelle, Cash App, and crypto
Scammers steer victims to these methods for one reason: the money moves instantly and usually cannot be pulled back. Wire transfers at the bank counter, Zelle, Cash App, Venmo, and cryptocurrency ATMs are all treated as cash out the door. A related trick: an "accidental" overpayment arrives, and the victim is asked to "refund" the difference — the original payment later bounces.
The tell: pressure to pay a stranger through an instant, irreversible channel — or to keep the transaction secret from bank staff, who are trained to intervene.
7. The romance scam
A charming person met online builds a real-feeling relationship over weeks or months, always with a reason they cannot meet — deployed overseas, working on an oil rig. Then come the crises: a medical bill, a customs fee, a plane ticket. The losses here are often the largest of any scam, and the isolation is deliberate.
The tell: declarations of love from someone never met in person, followed by requests for money or secrecy about the relationship.
8. Sweepstakes and lottery winnings
"You've won! To release the prize, just pay the taxes and processing fees first." Victims are strung along, paying fee after fee for winnings that do not exist. Publishers Clearing House imposters are a perennial version.
The tell: real prizes never require payment to collect, and you cannot win a lottery you never entered.
9. Charity and disaster appeals
After every hurricane, war, or headline tragedy, urgent calls arrive from official-sounding charities. Some are pure invention; some imitate real charities with one word changed.
The tell: pressure to donate immediately by phone. Legitimate charities accept a donation just as happily tomorrow, made directly through their own website.
Aimed at children and teens — the short version
The same three flags apply to the younger generation, in different costumes:
- Game and marketplace phishing: fake "free skins," discounted game currency, or too-good deals that harvest passwords or payment details.
- Sextortion: a new online "friend" solicits an image, then threatens to share it unless paid. Children should know they can tell a parent without punishment — secrecy is the scammer's only leverage.
- Impersonated friends: a hacked account messages "can you send me a code / gift card real quick?" Verify by voice before acting.
Parental controls for minors are a solved problem on both platforms: Google Family Link (Android/Chromebook) and Apple Family Sharing with Screen Time. Note that these child-supervision tools do not apply to other adults — see Accounts & devices for what families can set up for a parent instead.
Why smart people fall for this
Victims include retired executives, teachers, and engineers. These operations are run by organized groups working from tested scripts, and the scripts are engineered to trigger fear or hope faster than reason. The single most damaging myth is that falling for a scam signals mental decline — that myth is exactly why victims hide it, and hiding it is what lets losses grow. In your family, make the deal explicit: anyone can be targeted, telling each other is always safe, and no one gets blamed.
Next step
Set up the family code word — it takes ten minutes and directly defeats scams 1, 3, and the impersonation tricks above.